The Perfect Brew to Work-Life Balance

How would it make you feel if you had work-life balance in your life? What does self care really look like? To each of us, it means something different and is often different based on the stage we are in life. 

• As a college student, we are concerned about getting our homework done. 
• As a young professional, we make sacrifices to achieve professional goals. 
• As moms, we want to nurture our children without losing ourselves. 
• When we are near retirement, we are more concerned about the money we have saved and what we are going to do with our time. 

Your self care strategy changes as you move through life.

Self-care is like filling a cup with things that nourish your body, mind, and soul. It’s about prioritizing your own needs and replenishing your energy so you can continue to give to others from a place of abundance. And in the end, you have work-life balance.

Taking care of yourself is essential. It’s also necessary for work-life balance. It’s similar to the ingredients you pour into your cup each morning that creates the warm, delicious coffee or tea you enjoy. And just the right amount of ingredients creates the balance in the taste of the coffee. Finding the ingredients you need to perform effective self-care for work-life balance is what this blog post is about.

Just as many of us have self care baskets that have things we enjoy and turn to when times get rough and we need to self sooth, creating a “Grounded in Calm Self Care Plan” allows us to dig deep and learn how to fill our soul full cups so we can give from overflow.

Brew Ingredients that Influence our Energy:

Think of each of these as the ingredients that goes into making a great cup of coffee. Understanding how to use each of the influencers to make sure your cup stays full is the closest I’ve been able to get to managing stress and having work-life balance. 

• Spiritual
• Mental
• Emotional
• Environment
• Physical
• Social

*The Energy Influencers are a body work created by iPEC. This blog post is my interpretation of the influencers.

Spiritual Influencers

Some people relate spiritual with religious. For purposes of the Spiritual Influencer, we are going to expand the definition to include what can affect the human spirit. Spiritual influencers include inspiration, motivation, and your sense of purpose. If it inspires you, motivates you or fits into your purpose, it affects your spiritual influencer.

Spiritual Influencers involve your purpose, beliefs, values, gifts, desires, goals, etc., in relation to what you specifically want to do and how you want to do it. 

Spiritual stress occurs when whatever you are doing causes you to question or distracts you from your values, purpose, goals, connection, or beliefs.

For example, one of my values is to do meaningful work.  So when I had a job where I was simply a cog in a machine expected to do what I was told, I was stressed the f*&^ out because I don’t work that way.   

I prefer working somewhere where my work matters.  That’s part of the reason I started Life Beyond Your Story as a coaching business.  

Perhaps you work in a job where you are constantly on edge or under tremendous amounts of stress.  Perhaps you have to work harder just to be seen or are constantly talked over or interrupted in meetings.  These are all examples of ways in which your spiritual influencer is affected.

When I do work that is meaningful to me, my cup is being filled.  My cup is filled to overflowing when I share useful information with my clients or in blog posts like this one.  

I love that you are willing to take time out of your day to read it.  A friend recently told me that this was how I was in service to others.  She is right.  I am working within my purpose and it is a way my cup is filled.

Some other ways I attend to my spiritual influencer is by reading or listening to content that is inspiring or motivating.  

Those that know me know I am a huge fan of Bishop TD Jakes.  He is the first pastor that spoke TRUTH into my life by including content in his messages I could relate to.  It’s like he sees my soul and speaks directly to me.  

My spirit is truly being fed this year (2024) as Scott and I plan our wedding.  We both have something to look forward to, our wedding and the life that we are building together. 

Planning a vacation is something similar that can fill your cups.  If your like me, sometimes it’s more fun planning the vacation!

I value my morning routine.  It’s my private time to:

• Mediate
• Journal
• Dream
• Do physical exercise
• Read or listen to content that is inspirational or motivating. 

Books like the one from Dr. Anita Phillips book, “The Garden Within,” speaks to my soul and feeds my spirit!

When we go through our day to day without anything to look forward to or we are just going through the motions, it’s hard to feel motivated to achieve your life’s dreams or goals. If we do it long enough, we end up being stressed and depressed!

Create your Grounded in Calm Self Care Journal: Grab your journal and list out the things that feed your spirit.  We’ll add to this list as we explore each of the influencers.  At the end, you’ll have a list that you can refer back to in times of stress.  You’ll know what to adjust to have work-life balance.

Mental Influencers

In a nutshell, what impacts your ability to think, affects your energy.

Mental influencers involve your clarity as to what you’re doing, your ability to remain focused without being distracted, and whether the task is interesting and has the right degree of challenge for you.

Are you alert? Can you focus? Can you concentrate on the task at hand? Does it stimulate your mind?

Mental stress includes distractions, foggy mind, being mentally tired or mentally exhausted, not being able to think clearly.

Can you concentrate on the task at hand, or do you have a mental toughness and just push through?

Can you see things clearly or is your mind foggy?

How do you stimulate your mind?  Do you do crossword puzzles or put jigsaw puzzles together?

If you are distracted, relying on your mental toughness, or have a foggy mind, it’s difficult for you to perform at your best.  

Your dreams stay dreams, you say things like “One day I’ll do x or y…” Before you know it, you’re giving all you have to work and crashing with exhaustion when you get home. We all have been there and this is definitely work-life balance that’s out of whack.

If you don’t sleep well last night and wake up tired in the morning, you ability to think will be affected. You’ll think slower than usual.  You many even think many of the same thoughts.  Thoughts like, I can’t wait to get home and take a nap.

Perhaps you multitask.  You perform two or more tasks simultaneously.  We all do it.  When we drive, we turn the radio on to listen to.  When we are at home, we have the TV on or music playing while we go about our days.  

The introduction of smart phones added yet another task we do.  We watch TV and have our phones close by and check it whenever a commercial comes on.  This is referred to as “media multitasking” and you can read more about it here.

We could spend all day looking at our mental capacity.  Let’s shift gears here.  I want you to think about ways you can flip the script and make mental influencers work for you instead of against you.

Let’s add to our Grounded in Self Care Manual.  So grab your journal and brainstorm ways you can fill your cup and improve your mental capabilities and create more work-life balance.

My mental influencer list includes things like:

• Journaling
• Yoga
• Spending time in the quiet of the morning so I can recharge
• Listing to a focus playlist when I work. Think Game of Thrones on Spotify. 
• I also use the timer on my phone ALL THE TIME.  I like to work “in flow” meaning I want to get lost in the task and not have to worry about keeping track of time.  I normally set it for 15-30 minutes at a time or set it to go off right before a meeting.  

Adding to your Grounded in Calm Self Care Journal: What are ways you fill your cup using the mental influencer?  How do you stay alert or stay focused on the task at hand? 

Don’t Give Emotions a Bad Rap

Emotional factors are those things related to emotions, along with your moods and feelings. The way you think about, express, and manage emotions influence your energy.

How do you feel when you’ve spent time with that friend that exudes happiness, excitement, or gratitude? Your energy level soars! These feel good emotions act as fuel, igniting a sense of motivation and enthusiasm within us. When you operate at these higher energy levels, you have better work-life balance.

On the other hand, the Negative Nellies in your life, those that exude anger, sadness, or frustration can drain our energy reserves. They create a heaviness that weighs us down and makes even the simplest tasks feel exhausting.

Perhaps you stuff your emotions and refuse to acknowledge their existence. 

Do you view these extremes as good and bad, right and wrong?  Do you avoid the bad and always expect the good ones?  How open are you to another view of emotions?  One that is neither good nor bad, right or wrong?  This view just is.  

• When I get frustrated at work…. What is this emotion trying to tell me?
• When I get excited about an upcoming event… What is this emotion trying to tell me?
• When I sit down in front of the fireplace to read a book by my favorite author, what emotion do I feel and what does it tell me?
• When I watch the sun set over Lake Erie, what emotion do I feel and what is it trying to tell me?

By cultivating positive emotions and finding ways to boost our mood, we can tap into an endless wellspring of energy. 

Whether it’s engaging in activities that bring us joy, spending time with loved ones who uplift us, or practicing self-care rituals that nourish our soul – these actions have the ability to recharge and revitalize us.

If you ask, “How am I feeling?” you are asking in a way that allows for judgement.  When you ask, “What am I feeling?” That changes the game entirely.  You are exploring the feeling and most importantly, acknowledging it. 

Embrace positivity and let it fuel your energy levels. Surround yourself with things that bring you happiness and make a conscious effort to let go of negativity. 

At the same time, if you feel a strong emotion, don’t ignore it or stuff it away. Work on allowing it to just be. God gave us all emotions so stop judging them as good or bad. 

Harnessing the power of your emotions is not only beneficial for your own well-being but also for those around you. Your positive energy can inspire others and create a ripple effect of positivity in the world.

So embrace your emotions, nurture them wisely, and watch as they transform into an abundant source of vibrant energy in your life.

My favorite exercise I use to help manage my emotions is the practice of gratitude.  For those who know my entire life story know that I had a shitty childhood.  If I focus on it too long, it becomes a Debbie Downer for me.  But when I write down 5 things I’m grateful for day in and day out, man, did God make up for it!  My gratitude journal is where I see how God has blessed me throughout my life.

Adding to your Grounded in Calm Self Care Plan:: If you’re up for a challenge, I recommend a gratitude journal where you journal one thousand different things you are grateful for.  Do this exercise over several months, from now until summer (it’s harder than you think!).  

Journaling is another way to help manage emotions.  I’m not talking the rumination type journaling.  I’m speaking to the type where you identify the emotion, then ask yourself to dig deeper into it.  

Here are four questions I journal to help manage my emotions:

• What am I feeling physically (use feeling wheel) I am feeling…
• What emotions am I experiencing? I am experiencing….
• What thoughts am I having? My thoughts include….
• What energy level am I experiencing? I’m resonating with level…

Environmental Influencers to Energy

Our environment includes the settings or conditions around us and in which we perform the tasks we set out to do. 

Our physical surroundings greatly influence our energy levels. Creating a clean, organized, and clutter-free space can promote a sense of calmness and clarity. Surrounding ourselves with positive influences, such as uplifting music or inspiring artwork, can also enhance our mood and boost productivity.

I remember a time a few years ago when I started getting these massive headaches at work. I would sit at my desk, hunched over my computer, squinting to see the computer screen. As time passed, I instinctively raised my hands to protect my eyes from the glare of the overhead lights, just as I would when outdoors. 

It got to a point where I just wouldn’t turn the lights on in my office.

One day, I went to see one of my peers and saw that he had turned off his lights as well. He had a lamp that created this warm, inviting light. When I came into his office, he turned the overhead lights on. 

I recall being impressed by his courage to defy conventional thinking. I mean, who works in dark office.

Eventually, I followed his lead and brought a lamp into work. And wouldn’t you know, it made an immediate impact on how I felt? I had energy! 

No longer did I leave work feeling exhausted from battling the glare from the overhead florescent lights. My headaches were less frequent. Sure, people commented all the time about me sitting in the dark, but I felt better!

Over time, I started making changes at home as well. 

• I added a yellow lamp to the area where I do yoga. Now I look forward to doing it. 
• I recently added plants to my yoga area. Now I like to meditate there as well.
• After buying the house we currently live in, I was so thankful to convert the fireplace from wood to gas so I could use it more often during the winter months. 
• There is nothing more peaceful than starting my day drinking my coffee in front of the fireplace. It’s a great start to my day!

Having the proper tools is essential for our surroundings and to equip ourselves with the resources for triumph!

Adding to your Grounded in Calm Self Care Journal:: So, let me ask you, have you set yourself up for success this year? Do you have equipment, clothing, tools, resources, etc., you need to perform the tasks needed to accomplish your goals?

Physical Influencers to Energy

I remember vividly listening to one of Brene Brown’s podcasts (I don’t remember the specifics of which podcast or which episode) and hearing her talk about doing pilates to get in shape. She was getting ready for a book tour. She prepared herself to handle the stress. I was out on my morning walk and it literally stopped me in my tracks. She was adding activities that helped her create work-life balance on her book tour.

Brene was using exercise to prepare her body to handle the stress that comes with traveling the country in a short amount of time. 

This was the first time I’d heard another leader discuss how important exercise is at being the best you can be, especially under demanding circumstances. For me, exercise used to be the first to go when time got tight or I couldn’t fit everything in. It was the easiest, right?

This post isn’t specific to exercise, but it is about what you feel in your body physically as you go throughout your day.

• When I worked in the office, I remember always being cold in the summer. I swear building management set the thermostat in the building 50 degrees year round. I also remember going to an interview wanting to look my best and my outfit included 3 inch heels that would make my feet ache something awful.
• Have you ever tried working while you were sick? 
• Or maybe you didn’t sleep well the night before and you slugged through the day. 
• Maybe you work in a toxic work environment and you’re spent at the end of every day because you are just trying to make it.

Each of the physical issues mentioned so far impact how we feel and affects our energy.

Physical Factors that impact your energy

• Health
• Sleep
• Nutrition and hydration
• Breathing
• Exercise and mechanics
• Body Image
• Injury and illness

It’s important to note that influencers affect one another. When you don’t feel good physically, it can affect you emotionally. Not getting enough sleep can cause a lack of focus. Sometimes, adjusting one improves another.

Adding to your Grounded in Calm Self Care Journal: Let’s journal. What comes to mind as you think through each of these areas? 

• What beliefs do you have that prevent you from making changes? 
• Is eating organic food is too expensive? 
• Do you think you don’t have time to exercise? 
• Do you “push through” when you have a migraine? 

Pay attention to the physical factors that impact your energy as you go throughout the week. At the end of the week, reflect on what you learned about yourself. What does a perfect day would look like for you if money or time weren’t factors?

What micro changes can you make to your routine to get you one step closer to a goal you have?

Social Influencers

Let’s take a look at the last influencer, the social influencer. 

The company we keep has a profound impact on our energy levels. Our social interactions, whether positive or negative, have the power to shape our mood, mindset, and overall well-being.

When we surround ourselves with positive and uplifting individuals, their energy can be contagious. They inspire us, motivate us, and encourage us to pursue our goals and dreams. Their presence fills us with optimism and enthusiasm, creating a ripple effect that boosts our own energy levels.

On the other hand, spending time with negative or toxic people can drain our energy. Their pessimism, complaints, and constant negativity can weigh us down and leave us feeling depleted. 

It’s important to recognize the influence of these relationships on our energy levels and make conscious choices about who we choose to spend our time with.

I’m of the mind that we need three types of people in our lives. 

We need 

• Friends
• A mentor or coach, and 
• An accountability partner. 

Let’s look at each one individually.  

Friends – friends can be ride or dies, they’re there for you through thick and thin. They can also do things with you like go to movies or plays. Some even read together or travel together. 

The important thing to remember about friends is to have several of them. Asking one person to be your all and all puts a lot of pressure on them. 

I have my hanging out girlfriends, the ones I go to movies and lunch dates with. Then there’s the friends I call when I’m going through something. I have very few ride or dies, like two.

Mentor or coach. Each one has a specific purpose. 

Mentors have been where you want to go. They help show you the way and help troubleshooting your own journey. They give you advice and offer encouragement. 

Coaches on the other hand, hold space for you. The 30 minutes or hour you spend with them every two weeks is yours to talk about whatever you want to discuss. 

Coaches help you overcome your fears and doubts, help you work through mental blocks, things that are preventing you from achieving your dreams. 

They help with situations at work. Coaches can also offer accountability which is the next type of person to have in your life.

Accountability partners help keep you accountable. They often are on a similar journey and together, you assist one another on reaching your goals or starting new habits. You each become better people, and do it together. 

By surrounding ourselves with supportive friends, mentors/coaches, and accountability partners who radiate positivity and encouragement, we can cultivate an environment that nurtures our energy levels. When we nurture our energy levels, we bring on better work-life balance.

Choosing companionship that aligns with our values and aspirations helps create a harmonious balance that fuels our motivation to thrive.

Adding to your Grounded in Calm Self Care Journal: Remember that you have the power to curate your social circle. Surround yourself with those who uplift you, inspire you to grow, and bring out the best version of yourself. Choose company wisely – for it has the potential to shape your energy levels in ways you may not even realize!

Conclusion

In conclusion, giving from overflow allows us to give after we’ve filled our own cups. Filling our cups to overflow happens when we focus on each of the influencers mentioned in this post. Our spiritual self, our mental mindset, our emotions, a supportive environmental, our physical body, and those we are surrounded by are all ways we fill our cups. when these cups are full, we have better work-life balance.

The key to managing stress in your life can be found in these influencers. Too much or too little of one influencer can impact other influencers. For example, if you run a a race on Sunday, you will likely feel tired on Monday. Being tired from the race can affect your concentration at work. It’s okay to take a day off so you can rest.

Another example is if you find yourself feeling stressed, you reflect and realize you haven’t been taking time for yourself. You’ve been busy on a project at work haven’t spent time with friends or you’ve stopped exercising.

Exploring these influencers as they impact your own life is extremely valuable to being able to live your best life. Take the time to journal your own answers.

I’d love to hear about your experience in creating your Grounded in Calm Self Care Journal! Leave a comment below.