In a world filled with uncertainty and self-doubt, it’s easy to lose sight of our true selves. In this blog post, I’ll share how to develop self awareness, accept who we are, reclaim our confidence, banish our fears, so we can live authentically to our life’s purpose.

To live authentically means embracing your true self, sharing your unique story, and connecting with others on a genuine level.

Authenticity attracts like-minded souls, builds trust, and fosters meaningful relationships.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Bring Your Whole Self to Work,” or perhaps it’s cousin, “Bring Your Authentic Self to work.” 

Honestly, I’m not a fan of either as it’s touted.  Women come home exhausted for more reasons than the work they’re hired to do. They navigate gender bias, double binds and interesectionaltity issues. You can read more about what it’s like for women at work in this article.

Many companies and the people that make up those companies haven’t done the internal work that is required by leaders and employees alike to to create a psychologically safe work environments where we can collectively bring our whole self to work.

So, I know you’re wondering, “Tammy, you are doing a series on how to live authentically!” 

I know! I know! The world is full of contradictions. Hear me out though…

As an authentic leader, it’s important to understand barriers preventing people from living authentically. 

What this post is about is looking inside ourselves and asking a few questions, learning about who we are and what really matters to us. It’s about living our lives according to our purpose, our values, or whatever compass you set for yourself.

Hopefully, at the end of this post, you’ll have enough information to make a conscious choice on what it means to live authentically for you personally, whether at work or in your personal life in general.

Becoming More Aware 

I open each newsletter with the same saying, “Grab a cup of coffee and let’s renew our minds together.” 

The premise of my newsletter, of my coaching business, of anything I write and put out into the world is to bring awareness. Sometimes it’s just a story, sometimes it’s content, sometimes it’s a tip or trick I’ve learned over the years. 

The definition of renew that I like most is the one that says, “to replace something that is broken or worn out.”

In order to know something is broken or worn out, we first have to be aware of something. If we break our arm falling down, the pain we feel demands our attention. Everything else falls by the wayside.

A less dramatic example of the need for awareness is when you get home from work and you’re more tired than usual. Maybe you didn’t sleep well last night or you were in back to back meetings all day. You know you’re tired, but you push through anyway. You get dinner to the table or the kids where they need to be. 

How do you feel?

This is where most of us find ourselves: tired, drained.

You have a hard time saying no to people who ask for your assistance. 

Sometimes, we just need to be still. We need to sit still, put our phones down, turn off our TV and just be. 

In a world full of tech things and being always on, this can be scary. Let’s experiment. Set the timer on your phone and then put it down. Turn off everything, your computer, your phone, your TV, music playing in the background. If 15 minutes sounds too daunting, do it for five.

Go ahead, try it.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What am I feeling physically?
• What emotions am I experiencing?
• What thoughts am I having?
• What energy level am I experiencing?

If anything comes up when asking yourself these questions, sit with it. Explore it. Journal about it. Don’t judge it, just get aquatinted with it!

When we do this exercise or other exercises like it, we develop self awareness. We take ourselves off auto pilot.

When we slow down, we learn it’s ok to be led by our intuition or we feel a nudge in our spirit. Over time, we realize we don’t have to that it’s ok to not have everything figured out. 

Awareness is a key factor in any change you are trying to make in your life. Once you develop awareness, then you make better decisions about what you want to do about what you discovered.  

For now, you are right where you need to be. 

Accepting What Is to Live Authentically

“When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible.”–Tina Lifford

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like accepting the parts of me that I have judged as “bad.” If I admit those parts exist, then others will find out about them. If others know about the bad parts of my life, they will judge me too. And on and on the story goes.

Here are some things we don’t like to accept about ourselves: 

1. We are getting older.
2. When we are gaining weight and don’t know why.
3. We didn’t save enough money for retirement.
4. We know we “need to” exercise, but we don’t.
5. We weren’t really nice people to our children.

I know you nodded your head as you read the list. The nodding is an indication that you are accepting the statement as it is. Some of them you may have laughed and said, “That is so true!”

There may be one or two on the list that make you cringe. I mean you can feel your face flush, your heart beating in your chest, and maybe a bead or two of sweat appears on your forehead. You start to feel emotionally hijacked. You close your email and don’t read the rest of this message.

Let’s be real

People often confuse acceptance with acquiescence and may see it as weak. If I could offer another view, it would be that acceptance is about getting control and increasing potential. It’s easier to live authentically when you accept what it.

The more we accept about ourselves, the more in control of our lives we become. When we accept what is, we can put our energy into coming up with a plan to alter the future. We can decide to age gracefully. We can acknowledge that there are times in our life where gaining weight is natural. 

Once we accept these aspects about ourselves, our quality of life changes, our focus shifts, our spirits start to rise. We realize that some things just happen!

Accepting what is in life means acknowledging and embracing the reality of our circumstances, even if they are not what we had hoped for or expected. It involves letting go of resistance and finding peace in the present moment. By accepting what is, we can reduce stress and anxiety, cultivate gratitude, and open ourselves up to new possibilities. 

It’s important to remember that acceptance does not mean giving up or settling for less than we deserve; rather, it is about facing reality with courage and resilience. Through acceptance, we can find inner peace and contentment during life’s challenges.

What are some things in your life you have found hard to accept?  Reply to this message and let me know! Just acknowledging the struggle you are having is a step in the right direction. It starts to lose its power over you.

The Path to Greatness is Paved with Conscious Choices

When it comes to reaching our goals in life, the secret sauce lies in the choices we make every day. When we take ownership of these pivotal moments we can leverage them to our advantage.

Let’s dig a little deeper to see this is 3D.

What is something you are working on? A goal you’re striving for? Keep this goal in the forefront of your mind today. 

As you come upon times in your day when you need to make a choice, pause, reflect, and ask yourself: “Is this choice aligned with the goal I’m trying to achieve?” 

It’s a simple question that serves as a guiding light, empowering you to make decisions that propel you towards your goals. It allows you to make a conscious choice.

What is a conscious choice? Simply put, it one you make in the moment with awareness and acceptance. You are in the moment. You aren’t being influenced by your past or worried what might happen in the future.

Live in the present

What does it mean to be influenced by your past? Have you ever said, “I’ll never do that again?” If so, whatever you experienced that made you say those words has potential to influence your decision if confronted with the same circumstances again.

Think again about the goal you’re striving for or something you’re working on. Are you letting the past influence your choices? If so, this will make your goal harder to achieve. 

Sometimes, we just need to close our eyes, take a deep breath and take the leap. Do it anyway, despite of what you think your past means.

Do it with the mindset you will learn from your experiences. You’ll make adjustments along the way the allow you to get closer and closer to your goal until one day, you’re there!

The path to greatness is paved with conscious choices. Embark on this transformative journey, and watch as your dreams gradually become your reality.

By cultivating a mindset of conscious decision-making, we unlock the door to personal growth, success, and fulfillment.

Each choice, no matter how small, has the potential to steer us closer to or further from our desired outcomes. 

For today, think about your decisions based on achieving to your goals. 

Trust the Process, It Works!

Instead of focusing on the outcome, focus on the process. 

The process is the only thing you can control.

My husband, Scott loves to tell me, “Everything’s gonna be alright.” 

He normally tells me this as I get frustrated because someone cut me off when I was trying to merge onto the Interstate from a short ramp. 

Ok, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but you get my drift.

He has solid advice, I just didn’t think he was imparting it at the most opportune time. 

When we first started dating, I hated when he said it. It got under my skin. I would snap something sarcastic back to him.

Then in my coach’s training, I was able to study the principle a bit more. 

And slowly my mind started to shift. We married in July (2024), so I’ve had some practice. 

Use your energy

When all the bakers offered me cakes and I want cookies, I moved on. I became amazed at their lack of attention. I clearly outlined my vision, “I want a small cutting cake for Scott and I to cut, and I want cookies and cupcakes for everyone else.”

At first, the vendors sent me proposals and photos suggesting what was offered in the proposal was a beautifully designed, multi-tiered cake. 

“So, why are you sending me cake photos?”

(OK, truth be told, I didn’t like the energy this frustration created so that’s really why I moved on…). Feeling good about the decisions we were making concerning our special day was important to us. 

I could have gotten frustrated and gave in to the offers I was receiving thinking my vision wasn’t possible. I could have pushed back and corrected them on what I wanted. Giving in to what the vendors were pushing wouldn’t allow me to live authentically.

So, I just moved on. 

Next…

Then one day, I came across a wedding baker that didn’t make wedding cakes. The stars aligned. This baker gave me some sample cookies and sample truffles, and I was sold. 

She helped me achieve something that was beyond even the vision I had for our wedding day.

In life, everything happens as it should. If you’re pursuing a goal and experience a setback, take this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, about the goal, about how to achieve it. 

Trust yourself enough to believe that one day, you’ll get there.

This leads to mastery of the task at hand. Look at it again, tweak it, try again and again and again. Eventually, the puzzle pieces fall into place and you move on to the next step or the next goal. 

Most importantly…

Don’t give up! Keep going, keep pushing, one day, you’ll cross the finish line.

Be kind to yourself as you learn to do this; your internal critic may lash back out at you and you end up believing them. DON’T.

Conclusion

It’s only with awareness and acceptance that our authentic self grows. To live authentically means to live a life that you feel good about. That doesn’t mean it’s an easy life or things come easily. 

I can promise you though, there is someone in this world who needs you, needs to hear your story.  They need to hear the laughter, the grit, they need to know that it’s ok to be them because they see themselves in you! Be a Revolutionary!